The End of a Drunken Era...

Although I’m not writing this blog drunk like all my others, I’m still keeping with the drunken theme.

I am now sailing away on a raft made out of vodka bottle caps & gin labels to my own drunken nest (so stayed tune for the Lewisham adventures to come). So this post is to pay homage to all the magnificent drunken nights encountered at Peabody Hill. For which my neighbors now hate me. The old lady downstairs thinks my mum smokes weed to deal with the cancer, because apparently she is dying :/ (because someone consistently threw cigarette buds out the window). Her husband even threaten to take them to the police, lucky thing his wife thought my mum was dying, & persuaded him not to because she felt bad for my mum lol. Other neighbors encountered filthy guests urinating on their walls, vomiting in the pathways & some even stole money form my house during one of these infamous jams lol.

But they have all been worth it, from the very first jam back in 2007

To forcing bitches to eat cat biscuits 

Multiple sing-a-longs to some ballads

Beat making on a booty, along with tonnes of ass shots

Deathly absinthe that made two of us throw up in the kitchen sink (which my mum only found out the other day).

To the “I can’t drink anymores”

The air guitars

All the midnight feasts!

A venue to endless birthdays. Even a “squatters rave” (the name it received due to the fact my house had caught fire & was having work done so it was obviously prime location to get drunk, smoke fumes & all). That ended with the police breaking in because my neighbor obviously thought no one was living there, me in hospital with glandular fever & another with phenomena. Result!

The excursions to the shops because we’ve run out of alcamahol

All the drinking games

The faded poses

And who can forget the vast amount of throw up my house has endured. Don’t worry, I don’t have a yucky picture of vomit in my bed to show you Q__Q (I’ll keep that one to myself)

And because I’m also part-time Cat Lady, I’d like to apologise to my one of my cats for the drunken abuse (they check my blog daily :D).

Copious glasses of 2-4-5 wine (245, 245!)

Ohhhh the memories!

And to think these are only the ones that occurred at my house. Plenty more events went down at AliciaTheHuman’s house. 

Tulse Hill served us well for drunken nights, & we sent you out with a mini bang (see below how the Bitch card got used)

Stayed tuned for the terror we bring to Lewisham...

(Apologies if you see your face here & didn't approve; tough shit, you shouldn't have been so drunk or they shouldn't have been readily available on Facebook for me to steal)

Carnival

Carnival!!!!

What a last minute decision to go to carnival. To think, this morning I was in Deal in Kent & here I am drunk & flu hyped from todays antics.

A word of warning.
1. Make sure your phone is not cut off when at carnival (yes I still haven't paid my phone bill form Cuba)
2. Make sure you go with the people you intend to spend carnival with. Finding people is the longest!

People at carnival have serious attitude problems. Now I'm not talking about all the barging and stuffs, because uno, thats expected. But this guy had the audacity to say to me when I walked away from his advances "Hey, stop right there! Where do you think you are going?!" Its carnival bitch, let me get my carni on and leave me heffa!

The way guys move to girls at carnival requires a different kind of game. Like " Well if you can keep up with me and the crowd I'll talk to you" or "If you're in front of me in the toilet queue, I really have no choice"

After spending the majority of our time looking for people, getting confused between chicken village and chicken cottage, we FINALLY found the people we were looking for & had a fantabulous time.

Danced with a harikrishna group, saw an old friend from uni and AliciaTheHuman accumulated at least  50+ high 5's (I never got one though, tomorrow I will get my high 5!)

I can't really remember what else happened except, I had fun, got drunk (as usual) & ate a banquet when I got home :D

I have to be up in 3 hours

So, after drinkin left over vodka & brandy from
Saturday, I lay in bed whilst my tummy angrily shakes its intenstine fist at me for the alcohol abusr!

I'm pretty sure AliciaTheHuman's neighbours hate us. Tonight we went on a youtube tangent of the ultimate break up songs. The way We performed like peoples were making it rain on us... I wish someone would try to make it rain on me. I'd still their wad of cash in a hurry because I be a small nimble mofo.

*starts singing* Jack be nimble, jack be quick. Jack jump over the candle stick...
Hold on. Why the heck were they making him jump over a candle stick?! What kind of burned pimpness is that? Thats probably worse than Mama Dee did to her clients!


Anyways! AliciaTheHuman has a brilliant break up playlist!
I'm sure I sent a few to too many people... Opps! At least you'll have a song to brush your teeth to 😁

Byeeee, have a beautiful time!!

Hope I wake up in time. I need to wash my greasy hair apparently!

Gimmie 5 Years!

So I forgot to write this blogpost last night, but luckily I'm pretty much still drunk this morning, ohhh the beauty of alcohol!

Unfortunately & fortunately last night ended with no injuries lol

But I have woken up not remembering going to bed & why I slept with headphones in my ears :S

I'm so dehydrated, but after the first mouthful of dilute it begins to taste like wet nothingness, the flavour seems to vanish. Its like the there are little people in my mouth stealing the flavour for their loved ones.

Anyways...

I remember having one conversation last night that is entitled "Gimmie 5 years!"
Trying to convince someone not to have a baby in three years is harder than it seems lol. But you gotta appeal to what they like. My argument was that it doesn't leave us much time to get all the crazy stupid stuffs done before we have to be responsible parents (even though we do our fair share of nuts stuffs). I even went as far as to say "I will get Drake to marry you, then I will marry Baby, just for his money" I really do hope I have my act together in 5 year... I'll probably still be here blogging about my drunken nights, or not blogging because I've turned into a raging alcoholic who dances with her cats to Whitney Houston songs.

Side note: While we are on the WHitney subject, I wouldn't mind dancing with somebody right now

I don't usually do this...

I started writing this a day ago, and then I realised I was chatting absolute crap. So, the concept I decided to go with for my blog was to write them all drunk!
So if there is multiple spelling mistakes, you know the reasons why lol

The reason why I decided to write my blog whenever I am drunk is because I like to ramble the most at this point.

My friends call me the alcoholic of the group, and just like American Dad, I am the Kidney Killer *lightening bolt strikes*

So tonights drunken adventure was an original.

We ran out of alcohol, so me & AliciaTheHuman (my bestie, which you will hear a lot of reference to in most posts) decided to go for more. As we are so lazy (my fault) we decided to saddle each other on her little brother BMX. Not realising how drunk we were, we tried to take it it turns to saddle one another. The problem was that we both took up too much of the seat with our fat asses lool.

Anyways, finally AliciaTheHuman managed to saddle me, so we got a couple centimetres before the bike del over and we both fell in the road looool. AliciaThueHuman is telling me to get up, but my body just didn't register what was going on. Eventually, I managed to get up and we could not stop hysterically laughing! Then we realised that I had cut my wrist and she had cut her knee. This made us laugh even harder, and decide that we shouldn't ride the bike any further!

We carried on walking towards the alcamahol (my idea). After getting more than halfway there, we decided to call AliciaTheHuman's BF back at the house.

When he met us, he was not impressed to say the least! But me & AliciaTheHuman could not sep laughing at our foolishness. Her BF however, did not laugh along once...

When we got home we continued on laughing together... hysterically. Now, here I am writing this blog before my laptop battery dies lol.

This is the kinda of thrills we live for. Drunken nights that leave scars to show my children. What dreams are made of lool

Bye *waves drunkenly*